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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun puzzle games and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Language Trends of the FutureThere are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and inall likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in thefuture. In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel. Allconsonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leavingonly an extended 'Eauuuuuuuuuuuu. . . ' Meaning will be inferred fromfacial expression. Written French will stay exactly the same. These consonants will not be entirely forgotten; they will migrateto Czechoslovakia, which will by that time have no use for vowels. In 200 years, the English vocabulary will be the union of all othervocabularies, but the spelling will be original. Similarly, the Japanese alphabet will be the union of all otheralphabets in the world. The Cyrillic alphabet will eventually be the same as the Latinalphabet, only backwards. A mirror will suffice for translatingRussian into Polish. Finally, in 200 years, entire books in Germany will be one word. Plusa verb at the end, of course. [From Henry_Cate_III. OSBU_North@xerox. com]
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Teeth Joke
Why are vampires like false teeth? They all come out at night.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
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Assorted Joke
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. 'Look at their reserve, their calm, ' muses the Brit. 'They must be British. ''Nonsense, ' the Frenchman disagrees. 'They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. ''No clothes, no shelter, ' the Russian points out, 'they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian!'
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Animal World
What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.
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Farmer Joke
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: 'WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!' He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: 'NOW THERE ARE TWO!'
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Accountant Joke
Who was the first accountant? Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
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Food Joke
Chocolate Chip Cookies:Ingredients:1. 532. 35 cm3 gluten2. 4. 9 cm3 NaHCO33. 4. 9 cm3 refined halite4. 236. 6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride5. 177. 45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O116. 177. 45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O117. 4. 9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein9. 473. 2 cm3 theobroma cacao10. 236. 6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #'2
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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