|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of fun planet crosshills and other funny jokes |
|
Priceless Joke
Mike's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Mike, 'Vat sims to be ze problem?' Mike says, 'I'm not sure, but it doesn't go 'tick-tock-tick-tock' anymore. Now it just goes 'tick. . . tick. . . tick. 'The old man says, 'Mmm-Hm!' and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge flashlight and walks over the grandfather clock. He turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice. . . Ve haf vays of making you tock!'
= = = = = = = = = =
Animal Joke
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money.
= = = = = = = = = =
Mental health Joke
Doctor, doctor, I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?
= = = = = = = = = =
Kids Puns
Q: Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?A: Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement?A: Not enough cement. Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: Another lawyer. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to change it, and one to kick the stool out from under him. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: How many can you afford?Q: What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?A: The vulture eventually lets go. Person 1: I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money. Person 2: Why do you say that?Person 1: Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25. 00'. Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were keen to understand why it had ended so quickly. 'Well, ' said the general, 'we had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was a special reserve unit made up of lawyers and accountants. When the time came we ordered them to charge--and boy, did they know how to charge. 'A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, 'you're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit. 'The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said 'you're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a lawyer. 'A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence. They referred it to Diogenes, who decided in favor of the lawyer as follows: 'Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow. 'God decided to take Satan to court and settle their differences once and for all. When Satan heard this, he laughed and said, 'And where do you think YOU'RE going to find a lawyer?'Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures. At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, 'Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?''Really?' the other replied, 'Why did you switch?''Well, for three reasons. First, we found that lawyers are far more plentiful; second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them; and third, there are some things even a rat won't do. However, sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results to humanbeings. 'When a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule what he means is that after he bills you it's financially hard to get back on your feet.
= = = = = = = = = =
Website Joke
Where does the Internet football team play? Webley.
= = = = = = = = = =
Top 100 Joke
Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!
= = = = = = = = = =
Father Joke
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, 'Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another a
= = = = = = = = = =
Best Joke Online
I heard a story of a woman going into a bank with her son who was about 5 or6. He was being a brat and his mother was having a hard time controlling him. When she finally got to the teller, she sat the boy on the counter and said, 'Now you be a good boy or I'll tell Gramma how you were acting and she won't give you anymore cookies. 'The child sat there for a moment with a scowl on his face and then told her, and everyone else in the bank, 'Oh yeah? Well I'll tell Gramma I saw you sucking Daddy's cock!'The place went completely silent and the woman just picked up her son and left without finishing her banking.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
