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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun places to eat in london and other funny jokes |
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Blonde Joke - 2
Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.
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Time Joke
What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street? Five after one.
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Statistics and Math Joke
Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have:(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 - n(2n+1)Adding 1/4(2n+1)^2 to both sides yields:(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2 = n^2 - n(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2This may be written:[ (n+1) - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2 = [ n - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2Taking the square roots of both sides:(n+1) - 1/2(2n+1) = n - 1/2(2n+1)Add 1/2(2n+1) to both sides:n+1 = n
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Animal World
Did you hear about the blind skunk who fell in love with a fart?
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
'My God!' the trooper gasped. 'Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?'
'Yes, officer, I'm just fine' the blonde chirped.
'Well, how in the world did this happen?' the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
'Officer, it was the strangest thing!' the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was . . . . '
'Uh, ma'am', the officer said, cutting her off, 'There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth. '
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Dirty Joke
One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, 'My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran. '
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Situations Humor
A girl called the police department and reported that she had been assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, 'When did this happen?' She replied, 'Last week. ' The police then asked, 'Why did you wait until now to report it?' Well, ' she said. 'I didn't know that I was assaulted until the check bounced. '
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Fishing Joke
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask ' how did you catch those ?' Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend 'hold my legs now Paddy'. Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries. . 'pull me up, pull me up!!' Paddy asks ' do you have a fish Sean?'. . . . . . . . . . . . No replies Sean, 'there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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