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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun picture editor and other funny jokes |
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Pig Joke
What is a pigs favourite ballet? Swine Lake!
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School Joke for Kids
Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages 'from God'. This non-denominational campaign, was sponsored by an anonymous client. How cool to drive by one of these billboards!1. Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game - God 2. C'mon Over And Bring The Kids - God 3. What Part of 'Thou Shalt Not. . . ' Didn't You understand? - God 4. We Need To Talk - God 5. Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer - God 6. Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage - God 7. That 'Love Thy Neighbor' Thing, I Meant It. - God 8. I Love You . . . I Love You . . . I Love You . . . - God 9. Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place? - God10. Follow Me. - God11. Big Bang Theory, You've Got To Be Kidding. - God12. My Way Is The Highway. - God13. Need Directions? - God14. You Think It's Hot Here? - God15. Tell The Kids I Love Them. - God16. Need a Marriage Counselor? I'm Available. - God17. Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test. - God
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Weird Women Joke
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's LifeThe Doctor - who tells her to 'take off all her clothes. ' The Dentist - who tells her to 'open wide. ' The Milkman - who asks her 'do you want it in the front or the back?' The Hairdresser - who asks her 'do you want it teased or blown?' The Interior Designer - who tells her 'once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!' The Banker - who insists to her 'if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!' The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her 'Keep quiet and lie still!'
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Sporting Joke
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. 'mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm. ' 'I'm sorry, what did you say?' 'mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm. ' 'I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you. ' The successful man spits something into his hand. 'You've got to keep your worms warm. '
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Sports Joke
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,'Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?' 'Reading my book,' she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? 'You're in a restricted fishing area,' he informs her. 'But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up. ' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's true, but you do have all the equipment. ' MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
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Short Stupid Joke
Questions to Ponder about ViagraIf a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills. I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell. Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as 'assault with a dead weapon. 'Viagra, medicine's version of 'MIRACLE-GRO. ' Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me?If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck. A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution. Scientists developed the idea for Viagra after studying President Clinton's DNA. **********************************************VIAGRA CAUSES PANIC ------------------------ WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) -- Viagra, the new pill for impotence approved by the Food and Drug Administration on Friday, is already causing problems across the country. The FDA had said a man would need to by sexually aroused before the drug would work, but apparently failed to consider that most men walk around in a constant state of sexual arousal. Several disasters or near-disasters have already been reported:FDA Spokesperson Bonnie Thurston commented, 'There's no limit to the damage that this pill could cause. We've got to make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, like President Clinton's, for example, of we could have a potential nuclear mistake. '
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Bus Joke
What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !
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Yo momma Joke
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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