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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun picture editing and other funny jokes |
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, waiter, this lobster's only got one claw. It must have been in a fight, sir. Then bring me the winner.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Des Moines, Iowa:A repentant burglar returned his loot to its owners, along with a note explaining why: 'My priest said I done a wrong. 'More than $'200
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Dirty Joke
Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
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Witch Joke
What did the young witch say to her mother ? Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
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Dirty Joke
If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
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Mental health Joke
How many Histrionic P. D. does to take to change a lightbulb? 'You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand! I could be electrocuted! I could fall off the ladder and be paralyzed for life! You don't love me anymore!'
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Old People Joke
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.
The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.
Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. 'So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?'
'It's pretty nice,' she replied. 'Except they won't let me fart. '
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Law Joke
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, 'Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?' The lawyer replied, 'Of course, how much was the roast?' '$7. 98. '
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7. 98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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