|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of fun photo software and other funny jokes |
|
Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Anka ! Anka who ? Anka the ship !
= = = = = = = = = =
Law Joke
Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are really good guys.
= = = = = = = = = =
Fun Joke
Accountants do it with Double Entry Acupuncturists do it with a small prick Ambulance drivers come quicker Australians do it Down Under Bach did it using the organ Bankers do it with interest Bartenders do it on the Rocks Batman does it using his Robin Bookkeepers do it for the record Bosses delegate the task to others Chess players check their Mates Cops do it with cuffs DJs do it on request Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure Dentists do it orally Detectives do it under cover Don't do it with Bankers, most of them are Tellers Elevator men do it up and down Engineers do it to specifications Engineers do it to a first order approximation Firemen do it with a big hose Frank Sinatra does it his way Garbagemen come twice a week Gardeners do it on the bushes Gas attendants Pump all day Golfers do it in 18 holes Landlords do it every 1st of the month Managers make others do it Marketing reps do it on commission Pizza delivery man comes in 30 minutes or it's free Teachers do it with class Waiters and waitresses do it for tips Zoologists do it with animals
= = = = = = = = = =
Law Enforcement Joke
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.
'No,' the man replied.
'You failed to stop at the stop sign,' the cop explained.
'But I did slow down!' the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. 'You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs. '
The man started to get belligerent. 'Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?'
The cop pulled out his baton. 'I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Bumper Stickers - 1
Avenge Yourself - Be a problem to your children
= = = = = = = = = =
Zoo Joke
Come on, Fred, I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!
= = = = = = = = = =
Situation Joke
I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly told the man, 'Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died. ' 'No problem. ' said the man. 'Well, for some time now, I've thought my wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour, she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex with him. So today I was going to come home too and catch them. Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for this guy. My wife was half-naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. But, damn it, I couldn't find him! Just as I was going to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think he could hide from me! Well, I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more, so in a rage I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that right after that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly. ' The angel sat back and though for a moment. Technically, the guy DID have a bad day, and it was a crime of passion, so he announced, 'OK, Sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, ' and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. 'OK, here's the rule. Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died. ' 'Sure thing' the man replied. 'But you're not gonna believe this. I was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises when I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing and stomping on my fingers! Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the way down which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see the man push his refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top of me and kills me!' The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. 'I could get used to this new policy, ' he thinks to himself. 'Very well, ' the angel announces. 'Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, ' and he lets the man enter. A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the gate. 'Tell me about the day you died, ' said the angel. 'OK, picture this, ' says the man. 'I'm naked inside a Refrigerator. . . . . . . '
= = = = = = = = = =
Bumper Stickers - 2
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
