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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun party games for adults and other funny jokes |
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Office Humor
This guy comes home from work and when he walks into his bedroom, he finds his wife in bed with 3 other men that he works with. He says 'hello hello hello'And the wife says 'what, aren't you talking to me!'
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Weather Joke
It was so hot today I saw a robin picking earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.
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Movie and TV Joke
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done, everyone says that his last light bulb was much better.
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Food and Drink Joke
May I take your order? the waiter asked. 'Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special sir, ' he replied. 'We just tell them straight out that they're going to die. '
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes.
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Cow Joke
What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos.
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Joke for Halloween
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. . . . check it out these actual cases. Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scubatanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. ___________________________________________Still think you're having a bad day?A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, sheonce again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm. ______________________________________________Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse. . . The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $'80
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Joke for Halloween
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, 'MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!'In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. 'The bus driver insulted me!' she fumed. The man sympathized and said, 'Hey! He's a public servant and he shouldn't say things to insult the passengers. ''You're right!' she said. 'I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind. ''That's a good idea, ' the man said. 'Here, let me hold your monkey!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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