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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun oven gloves and other funny jokes |
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Simple Joke
The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. Everyone's meal today is on you! The 'special sauce' came from the floor! Guess what our special 'drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky. . . he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus. . . . maybe
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Dirty Joke
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'The other replies, 'Oh sure I do. ' The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?' The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver. ' After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
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Stupid Men
Q: Why do women work harder than men?
A: Women get it done right the first time.
Q: Why is a man like a diaper?
A: because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of shit.
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Best Joke
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever. '' 'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last. ''
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Idiot and fool Joke
Say, your house is burning. 'That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one. '
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Website Joke
Why was the skeleton using the Internet? To bone up on his schoolwork.
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Bath Joke
How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed.
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Military Joke
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to 'secure a building, ' they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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