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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun online adventure games and other funny jokes |
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Food and Drink Joke
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. 'Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area. ' 'Heck, Gloria, ' the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, 'we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!'
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Father Joke
Little Johnny's teacher said, 'Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's. '
Did you copy hers?, she asked.
Johnny replied, 'No, teacher, it's the same dog!'
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Frog Joke
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ? Morse toad !
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Madonna.
Madonna who?
Ma Donna's being bad - tell her off.
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Dirty Joke
A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success. Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in the kitchen. He asked her what she has been up to and why she hasnt been home for so long. She replied: 'These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week. ' The husband answered: 'But it's only been two days what do u mean a week?' 'I am only here to get something to eat. '
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Blonde Joke - 3
Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are for those who don't drink!
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Joke for Speeches
A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. 'You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you, ' the devil said. In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. 'I don't like that, ' said the man. 'Show me the second. ' In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. 'Well, that's better than brick, ' the man said, 'but show me the third. ' In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee. 'I'll choose this room, ' he said. Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him. Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, 'OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads. '
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Office Humor
When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, 'I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it. 'In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $'1
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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