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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun number plates and other funny jokes |
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Biologist Joke
A couple of biologists had twins. One they called John and the other control.
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Situation Joke
Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, 'What's wrong?What's the emergency?''Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured. ''Well, how bad is it? Can I see?''Follow me, sir. 'They head down a restricted corridor and come to the firstdoor. Inside, in the respirator, is a newborn child without arms. Mister Smith is upset, 'Oh my God! How terrible to be born this way!'The nurse interrupts, 'No Mister Smith, that isn't your child. Follow me, please. 'They come to another room and there lies a newborn with no arms OR legs. Mister Smith cries, 'Oh dear God! What could be worse than this?''No mister Smith, that's not your child. Follow me. 'Next room down, Smith looks in. This kid is only a head. No body at all. 'Oh my God! How awful! What could be worse than this?''Not your child, sir. Follow me. 'One more room left in the hall. Mister Smith forces himself toenter. There on a pillow is a single huge ear. 'This is your child, Mister Smith. 'Smitty goes nuts, 'Oh Lord! What could possibly be worsethan this!? But. . . It's still my son. I will talk to him, I will amuse him with bed-time stories. I will sing him lullabies. . . ''Sir, it's deaf. '
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Science Joke
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule. If we accept 'For every rule there is an exception' as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception tothe rule that for every rule there is an exception.
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Dirty Joke
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now. '
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Dumb People Joke
What do you call an Eagle Scout with a crew cut?A bald eagle!
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Law and Lawyer Joke
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. 'So, what is it?' grumbled the governor. 'Judge Garber has just died' said the attorney, 'and I want to take his place. ' The governor replied: 'Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker. '
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Food Joke
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, 'Ketchup!'
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Insect Joke
What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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