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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun n frolics reading and other funny jokes |
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Monster Joke
Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case.
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Joke for Kids
It is recounted that at King's College in the Strand around the time of the war, the Chief of Services would inevitably begin the year's rounds by teaching 'a singularly important principle of medicine. 'He asked a nurse to fetch him a sample of urine. He then talked at length about diabetes mellitus. 'Diabetes, ' he said, 'is a greek name; but the Romans noticed that the bees like the urine of diabetics, so they added the word mellitus which means sweet as honey. Well, as you know, you may find sugar in the urine of a diabetic. . . 'By now, the nurse had returned with a sample of urine which the registrar promptly held up like a trophy. We stared at that straw colored fluid as if we had never seen such a thing before. The registrar then startled us. He dipped a finger boldly into the urine, then licked his finger with the tip of his tongue. As if tasting wine, he opened and closed his lips rapidly. Could he perhaps detect a faint taste of sugar? The sample was passed on to us for an opinion. We all dipped a finger into the fluid, all of us foolishly licked that finger. 'Now, ' said the Registrar grinning, 'you have learned the first principle of diagnosis. I mean the power of observation. 'We were baffled. We stood near the sluice room outside the ward, and in the distance, some anonymous patient was explosively coughing. 'You see, ' the registrar said continuing triumphantly, 'I dipped my MIDDLE finger into the urine, but licked my INDEX finger, not like all you chaps!'
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Children Joke
Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.
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Mom and Dad Joke
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, 'When you can read this, come back and see me. '
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Lawyer Joke
A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, 'Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!'His father frowned, and scolded his son, 'I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn't it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?'
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Funny Famous Joke
A few children's books that didn't make the cut:1. You Are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables 3. Dad's New Wife Robert 4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book 6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 8. All Cats Go to Hell 9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched 10. Some Kittens Can Fly 11. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy 12. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way 13. Pop! Goes The Hamster. . . And Other Great Microwave Games 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School 15. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
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Cow Joke
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!
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School Joke
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching. '
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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