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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun mugs and other funny jokes |
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Mother Joke
I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I asked her not to do that.
“Why?
“Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has
germs. ”
At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and
asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?”
“Uh,” I was thinking quickly, “…everyone knows this stuff. Um,
it’s on the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you
be a Mommy. ”
“Oh. ” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information.
“I get it!” she beamed. “Then if you flunk, you have to be the
Daddy. ”
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Dance Joke
What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Fight Socialism. . . Vote Republican
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Women Joke
How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.
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King Kong Joke
If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.
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Naughty Joke
This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop. An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over andsays he'll give her a ride home. On the way he looks her over and says 'You're a pretty good looking oldbroad. I'll pay you ten bucks for a piece of ass'. She says 'What???!!!'. But then thinks that the old age check isn't duefor 5 more days, so she agrees. They are lying on the bed after its over having the usual smoke and hesays to her 'Geez if I had known that you were a virgin I would haveoffered you $20. 00!' She looks back at him and says 'If I had know you could get it up I wouldhave taken off my pantyhose!'
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Ethnic Humor
A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says ''Now tell me a sentence using all three words. '' The Mexican says ''I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?'
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Joke for Speeches
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, 'There must be something you're doing that you haven't told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your knees?''Well, ' she said a little sheepishly, 'my husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor every night. ''That's got to be it, ' said the doctor. 'There are plenty of other positions and ways to have sex, you know. ''Not if you're going to watch T. V. there ain't, ' she replied.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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