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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun mouse mats and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
A woman that was on her death-bed turned to her husband telling him he should get married soon after she'll die, to which the man said-OK. Then she told him that he may bring the new wife to her home -Ok said the man, and you may give her my silver-OK said he, you will also give her my jewelry-OK, said the man, and you will also give her my dresses, said the woman -'This will not be possible', answered the man -'you see, you are size 8 and she is size 10'.
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Various animal Joke
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.
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Blind Joke
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, 'Pull, Nellie, pull!' Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, 'Pull, Buster, pull!' Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, 'Pull, Coco, pull!' Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, 'Pull, Buddy, pull!' And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. 'Well. . . Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!'
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Easy to Remember Joke
A grasshopper walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender, give me a drink. 'The bartender can't believe his eyes and says, 'Oh my Gosh, I can't believe this, you're a talking grasshopper!''Do you know we have drink named after you?'The Grasshopper replies, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
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Situations Humor
A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. 'This is a brothel' replied the madam. 'Well, what's all this out on the lawn?' queried the man. 'Oh, we're having a yard sale today. '
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Funniest Joke
WARNING! POOR FRED IS DEAD. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE COME TOMOURN HIS PASSING. A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. 'Is Fred home?' he asked the woman who answered the door. 'Sorry, ' the woman replied. 'Fred's gone for cotton. 'The next day the collector tried again. 'Is Fred here today?''No, sir, ' she said, 'I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton. 'When he returned the third day he humphed, 'I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again, ?''No, ' the woman answered solemnly, 'Fred died yesterday. 'Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: 'Gone, But Not for Cotton. 'RIP, Fred.
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Relationships Joke
A man calls his family doctor:man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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