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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun make up games and other funny jokes |
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Friendship Joke
On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, 'I can't wear your pants. ' 'That's right, ' intoned the groom, 'And don't you forget it. I'm the one who wears the pants in the family. ' The bride took off her panties and asked her husband to try it on. 'No way. I can't get into your panties. ' he said. 'That's right. And that's the way it'll be until you change your attitude. ' she said and smiled.
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Weather Joke
Why do raindrops like lightning at night? -So they can see where they are going
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Space Joke
Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon? Because it was a full moon and there was no room.
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Criminal Joke
When did the criminal get smart? When the judge threw the book at him.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Dogs think they're human. Cats think they're gods.
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Very Silly Joke
A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: 'How many people here believe in ghosts?' About 90 students raise their hands. 'Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?' About 40 students raise their hands. 'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?' 15 students raise their hands. 'That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?' 3 students raise their hands. 'That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further. . . Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience. 'The redneck student (remember, this is Alabama) replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, 'Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a Ghost. 'The student replies, 'Ghost?!? I thought you said 'goats!''
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Witch Joke
Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.
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Mother Joke
I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bedtime finally came, I laid down the law: 'We're putting on your p. j. s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!'
Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, 'We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies. '
Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, 'Maybe you could go be THEIR mom?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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