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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun literacy games and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
A small boy was asked by his teacher, 'What is the size of the Democratic Party?' 'About 5 feet 2 inches, ' he replied promptly. 'NO!' exploded the teacher. . 'I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?' 'Well, ' replied the boy, 'my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says. . 'I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!'
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Witch Joke
How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches.
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Celebrities Joke
What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?He put it on.
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Funny Kids Joke
'Dad, when I grow up will the calves in my legs be cows?'
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Aviation Joke
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. 'What are my choices?' he asked. 'Yes or No, ' she replied.
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Ethnical Joke
Did you know that 'verb' is a noun? How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can't spell them? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know? If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If you've read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn't this also mean that you would have to 'member' somebody in order to remember them? In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same? Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable? Is there another word for a synonym? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for 'monosyllabic'? What is another word for 'thesaurus'? Where do swear words come from? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why do people use the word 'irregardless'? Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl?' Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Why do we say something's out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works? Why does 'cleave' mean both split apart and stick together? Why does 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof? Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug? Why doesn't 'onomatopoeia' sound like what it is? Why don't we say 'why' instead of 'how come'? Why is 'crazy man' an insult, while to insert a comma and say 'Crazy, man!' is a compliment? Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites? Why is abbreviation such a long word? Why is dyslexic so hard to spell? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple? Why is it that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary? Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese? Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
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Snowman Joke
What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.
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Horse Joke
There is a blonde and a brunette. They share their ranch and have lots of female cows. One day, they decide to get a male for breeding to their female cows. So the brunette went down to texas with her life savings of $200 to buy a male cow. She searched up and down and all around and finally found a man that would sell her a cow for $199. Very excited, she bought the cow right away. She then went to the telegram office to send the blonde a telegram to tell her to bring the trailer so they could take the cow back home. She says 'Sir, i need a telegram' 'What will it say mam?' 'I found a male cow. Bring the trailer. ' 'Ok mam, that will be $7. One dollar a word' The brunette only had one dollar left so she said 'Oh, sorry. I need to change the telegram. ' 'Ok what does it need to say' 'Comfortable. ' 'Umm mam, it's none of my businessm but i don't think she will understand that, you know that right?' 'Well, you see, my friend is a blonde and she reads REALLY slow. When she gets the telegram, she will read it like this: COM-FOR-DA-BULL!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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