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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun learning games and other funny jokes |
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Heaven and hell Joke
An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. 'How did you get here?' he asked. And the new angel replied, 'Flu. . . '
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Gender Joke
Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman:A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing 'AT'. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty. A modem won't say a word if you come home late. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.
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Christmas Joke - 2
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
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Free Adult Joke
Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader. #9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers). #8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk's father (whoops, that's from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes). #7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy. #6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges. #5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product 'concept'. #4 Obi Wan's name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says 'I think he died X years ago' where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don't kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press. #3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC's when they could have been replaced with a single Amiga 1000 with 512K of ram and still run 'tons faster and do real multitasking unlike those PEE-CEEs'#2 The Canteen now has real rock stars in it. They look as they normally do but still manage to look more alien than the original aliens in there. #1 Death Star's old slogan: 'Fear this battle station'Death Star's NEW slogan: 'Where do you want to go today?'
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Vampire Joke
Why does Dracula have no friends? Because he's a pain in the neck.
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Political Joke
I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, butI've only come up with one: Lying.
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Bumper Stickers - 6
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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Mom Joke
Nigel calls his elderly mother and asks, ' Mum, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?'
She says, 'I feel fine, and I don't need anything. Thanks for calling.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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