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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun jewellery and other funny jokes |
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Ethnical Joke
Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn. 1. The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10. I did not object to the object. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row. 13. They were too close to the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things when does are present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18. After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Pig Joke
Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage.
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Parent Joke
Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.
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Pig Joke
What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon? Sow-r dough bread.
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Parent Joke
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. 'Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?' she asked. 'Well, no, ' answered the puzzled homeowner. 'But I have a wife and eleven children. ' 'Is that a record?' she inquired. 'I don't think so, ' replied the man, 'but it's as close as I want to get. '
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Witch Joke
What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled.
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Christmas Joke - 1
1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make 'housework' easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial. One allowed choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day. )2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, 'honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting. ' 'This Windex should last you a while. ' 'I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner. ' All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eyeing in Kmart. 3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a 'night out with the boys. '4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. 'Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you. ' By then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas. 5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the beautiful woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend). 6. No name perfume which costs you $1. '99
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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