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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun house newry and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. 'Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?' . 'Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week. ' 'So, Morrie, ' whispers Abraham 'How do you start a flood?'.
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Relationships Joke
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!'
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Rabbit Joke
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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School Joke for Kids
One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said, 'Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it. 'The farmer replied, 'That's not a donkey, that's an ass. 'So, the man said, 'Okay, then, I'll take the ass. ' Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said, 'I like that chicken. I'll take it too. 'The farmer replied, 'That is a pullet. 'So the man said, 'Okay, I'll take the pullet. 'He was looking at a rooster and said, 'Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too. 'The farmer replied, 'That's not a rooster, it's a cock. 'So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him, 'Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and he'll go again. 'So the man drives away. All of a sudden, the ass stops, and the pullet and the cock fly out of the back. The man is trying to get them back when a woman comes out and says, 'Can I help you?'The man replies, 'Yeah, could you grab my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?'
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Dog Joke - 1
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. 'Is that your big dog outside?' Wondering how she had got past him he said 'Yes why?' She said I'm sorry but my dog just killed him!' 'What??' Roared the man 'What kind of dog have you got??' 'A Peke' Replied the woman. 'A Peke??? how could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?' 'I think it got stuck in his throat!' Replied the woman.
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Father Joke
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell 'naughty' stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.
The professor, however, got wind of th
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Humor Joke
At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, 'He got away, sir!' The inspector was furious. 'But I told you to put a man on all the exits!' he roared. 'How could he have got away?' 'He left by one of the entrances, sir!'
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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