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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun hats and other funny jokes |
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Cat Joke
Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
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Spoof Joke
The night was young, the moon was high, We were alone just she and I. Her hair was soft her eyes were blue, I new just what she wanted me to do, Her skin was smooth her legs were fine. I ran my finger down her spin. I don't know how but i tried my best, As I placed my hand on her breast. I remembered my fear, my fast beating heart. And slowly she spread her legs apart. And when I did it I felt no shame, And all at once white stuff came. At last it is finished, it's all over now. My first time ever. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Milking a cow!(And what were YOU thinking about?)
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Just for Laughs Joke
One day O'Leary decided to visit his friend Paddy and ask him for a favour. 'Paddy my friend', he said. 'I'm going on holiday for a few weeks an I wanted to know if you could come around a couple a times a day to check up on me elderly ma, an feed me cat'. 'No problem', replied Paddy. 'You go an have a good time'. So the next day O'Leary left and headed for sunny Florida. However, after a week of him being there, he received a phone call from Paddy. 'Everything's ok over here', Paddy said. 'Except you're cat. It's dead'!'oly ell', replied O'Leary. 'You could have been a bit more sensitive Paddy'!'What do you mean?', replied Paddy. 'Well, one day you could have rang me up and told me that my cat has climbed the tree. The next day you could tell me that it has gone even higher up the tree and refuses to come down. On the third day you could tell me that the cat lost its grip and fell from the tree and had to be taken to the vets because of a broken leg. Then on the fourth day you could have told me that it died peacefully in the vet clinic', explained O'Leary. So paddy apologised and another week went by, when one day O'Leary got another phone call, it was Paddy again. 'All right O'Leary', he said. 'Everything's ok here, except your ma -She's climbed the tree and refuses to come down'!
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Kids Puns
What does a smart man do with 365 used rubbers?? Makes it a tire and calls it a Good Year.
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Men Joke
Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
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Mouse Joke
What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ? Getting it to fit over a bucket !
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Very Silly Joke
George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He Bugs GoreDormitory: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty RoomEvangelist: When you rearrange the letters: Evil's AgentDesperation: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends ItThe Morse Code: When you rearrange the letters: Here Come DotsSlot Machines: When you rearrange the letters: Cash Lost in EmAnimosity: When you rearrange the letters: Is No AmityMother-in-law: When you rearrange the letters: Woman HitlerSnooze Alarms: Wen you rearrange the letters: Alas No More Z'sA Decimal Point: When you rearrange the letters: I'm a Dot in PlaceThe Earthquakes: When you rearrange the letters: That Queer ShakeEleven plus two: When you rearrange the letters: Twelve plus onePresident Clinton of the USA: It can be rearranged into: To Copulate he finds
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Sport Joke
Did you hear about the underwater snooker player? He was a pool shark!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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