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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun gifts for girls and other funny jokes |
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Priceless Joke
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, 'Say, Father, what causes arthritis?''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man. ''Well, I'll be damned, ' the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?''I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does. '
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Computer Joke
A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road.
As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. 'Kiss me and I will turn into a princess. ' The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog starts shouting, 'Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm a Princess. Just kiss me and I will be yours. ' The guy takes the frog out of his pocket and smiles at it and puts it back. The frog is really frustrated. 'I don't get it. Why won't you kiss me? I will turn into a beautiful princess and do anything you ask. ' The guy says, 'Look, I'm a computer geek. I don't have time for girls. But a talking frog is cool!'
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated PressA fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday. Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said. Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!
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Marriage Joke
A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.
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Joke Online
How was wire invented?Two lawyers pulling on a penny.
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Music Joke
Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again. Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.
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Accountant Joke
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. 'Oh, around $'100
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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