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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun gift ideas and other funny jokes |
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Judge Joke
Judge: 'Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?' Defendant: 'Yes, it's true. ' Judge: 'Then, why don't you just pay him back?' Defendant: 'Because it wouldn't be true anymore. '
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Elephant Joke
Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !
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Ghost Joke
Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!
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Bar Joke - 2
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, 'I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. ' 'Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!' she screamed. 'Funny, ' he muttered, 'you even sound exactly like her. '
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Aardvark Joke
Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!
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Satire Joke
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad. . . she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat! Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama twice the man you are. Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama middle name is Rambo. Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, 'You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more. ' Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said 'Moving. ' Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
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Legal Humor
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?How many can you afford?
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Situation Joke
Woman: Two *Achoo!* tickets, please. Clerk: Have you purchased tickets here before? Woman: *cough* No. Clerk: Then I need your address. Woman: Okay. It's 260. . *AHEM* Sorry. . Laryngitis. . . Clerk: You'll have to spell that one for me.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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