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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun fur fabric and other funny jokes |
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
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Funny Kids Joke
Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet?He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines!Why do elephants eat raw food?Because they don't know how to cook!Why did the elephant eat the candle?For light refreshment!How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?You get very lumpy ice cream!What kind of elephants live in Antartica?Cold ones!How do you fit five elephants into a car?Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!How does an elephant get out of a small car?The same way that he got in!Why do elephants have trunks?Because they would look silly carrying suitcases!
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Journalist Joke
A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, 'I want to see the eye-ear doctor. ' 'There is no such doctor' she tells him. 'Perhaps you would like to see someone else?' 'No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor, ' he says. 'But there is no such doctor, ' she replies. 'We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor. ' No help. He repeats, 'I want to see the eye-ear doctor. ' They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: 'Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?' 'Because, ' he replies, 'I keep hearing one thing and seeing another. '
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Ant Joke
What do you call an and with frogs legs ? An antphibian !
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Bumper Stickers - 1
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you
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Joke for Halloween
Two pieces of string walked into a bar and ordered a pint. 'sorry' said the barman, 'we don't serve pieces of string in here' and with that he threw the two pieces of string out. Outside, one of the pieces of string ruffeled himself up, tied himself in a loop and went back into the bar. 'Are you one of those pieces of string I just threw out?' asked the barman. 'No' replied the string, 'I'm a frayed not'!
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Military Joke
Sargeant Williams was the newest drill instructor at AOCS, Aviation Officer Candidate School and as such was always trying to impress his company commander and the other officers in the Command. Daily he was seen jumping all over his officer candidates and yelling at them as he supposedly developed them into future Naval Officers. We were lined up behind his company awaiting our turn to go into the mess hall for lunch. We all listened as Sargeant Williams yelled at his company, ' you will eat in a military fashion, enjoy this delicious meal and fall by in formation at '1215
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Politics Humor
George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order. 'I'll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil, ' answers the President. 'But sir, what about the mad cow?!!' asks the waiter. 'Oh, ' answers Dubya, 'she'll order for herself. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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