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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun for kids to play and other funny jokes |
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Mad Joke
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, 'Mummy, what is that long thing?'His mother replies, 'That son, is the elephant's trunk. ' 'No, at the other end. ' 'That son is the tail. ' 'No, mummy, the thing under the elephant. ' A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, 'Thats nothing. 'The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question. 'Daddy, what is that long thing?''That's the trunk, son' replies the father. 'No at the other end. ' 'Oh, that is the tail. ' 'No, no daddy, the thing below, ' asks the son in desperation. 'That is the elephants penis. Why do you ask son?' 'Well mummy said it was nothing, ' says the boy. Replies the father: 'I tell you, I spoil that woman . . . '
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Christmas Joke - 2
Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour, of course.
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Medical Joke
A guy walks into his doctor and says, 'Doc, you gotta help me, I can't remember anything!'The doc asks, 'How long have you had this problem?'The guy says, 'What problem?'
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Dog Joke - 2
What is worse than a dog howling at the moon? Two dogs howling at the moon.
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Sporting Joke
One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, 'You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch. '
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Computer Joke
Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white. . . .
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Computer Joke
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!' He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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Aviation Joke
From the pilot during his welcome message: 'We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. . . Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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