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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun fax and other funny jokes |
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Lawyer Joke
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
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Bar Joke - 1
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses filled and they begin toasting and chanting, '51 days, 51 days, 51 days. ' Finally, the tenth and final blonde arrives with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets a picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others and they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives while chanting, '51 days, 51 days, 51 days. ' The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little, the bartender asks one of the blondes, 'What's all the chanting and celebration about?' The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, 'Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!'
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Marriage Joke
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!'
His wife replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'
The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'
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Satire Joke
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have Multiple Personalities, press '3
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Joke for Halloween
In Church on Sunday morning, The preacher was standing up at the pulpit preaching a sermon. After speaking for about 10 minutes he said. . . 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd throw it in the river!'Then he talked some more and a little while later he said. . . . 'If I had all the wine in the world, I'd throw it in the river!'After that statement, he kept ranting and raving untill about 15 minutes later when he said. . . 'If i had all the whiskey in the world, I'd throw it in the river!'Then he talked for a few more minutes and sat down. Then, the choir director stood up and with a sheepish smile on her face she said:'now will the congregation please stand and join us in singing hymn number '134
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Funny Famous Joke
Don't be sexist. . . broads hate that!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I don't do requests.
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Dumb Men Joke
Q: Why do men float better than women? A: Because they are scum.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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