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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun fathers day present and other funny jokes |
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Dentist Joke
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?. . . A month later he was picking his teeth
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Kids Puns
Top 12 Rejected Public Holidays12 Start of Christmas Season Day 11 False Labor Day 10 Make a Move on Your Secretary Day 9 Hallmark Card Day 8 Bring Your Handgun to Work Day7 Newtsmas6 Deadbeat Father's Day 5 Bad Hair Day4 Put Your Daughter To Work Day3 Doris Day2 St. Hooter's Dayand the Number 1 Rejected Public Holiday. . . 1 Hash Wednesday
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Dumb Men Joke
There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick, and one with a nine foot dick. The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard. The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the otherperson would get splinters. Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, 'See that girl overthere? Bam. Got her. '
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Joke for Speeches
Before heading south for a vacation, it may be a good idea to learn the language of our southern brothers and sisters. And we're here to help. . . Hah Tu Spek Suthun:BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive 'to borrow. 'Usage: 'My brother bard my pickup truck. 'JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: 'My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck. 'MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: 'My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I taint herd from him in munts. 'ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: 'I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck. 'FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: 'If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far. 'BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: 'If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!'TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: 'Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck. 'TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: 'Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime. 'RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: 'My granpaw retard at age 65. 'RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: 'We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats. 'FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: 'I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country. 'JU-HERE - a question. Usage: 'Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?' HAZE - a contraction. Usage: 'Is Bubba smart?' 'Nah . . . haze ignert. 'VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: 'I ain't never seed New York City . . . view?'GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: 'Great . . . ANOTHER gummit shutdown!'
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Relationships Joke
A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, 'Don't unleash the beast in me. 'The wife snickered and replied, 'Unlike a lot of women, 'dear
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Bird Joke
What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal That's always telling you how busy it is!
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Easy to Remember Joke
Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams:Dept Of Statistics:All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. Dept Of Psychology:Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Dept Of History:All students get the same grade they got last year. Dept Of Religion:Grade is determined by God. Dept Of Philosophy:What is a grade?Law School:Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. Dept Of Mathematics:Grades are variable. Dept Of Logic:If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. Dept Of Computer Science:Random number generator determines grade. Music Department:Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note ( and - would be sharp and flat respectively). Dept Of Physical Education:Everybody gets an A
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Very Silly Joke
A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were getting ready to go out, the wife said she had developed a migraine headache and had to stay home. She told her husband to go to the party without her. 'Don't let me spoil a good time for you, ' she said. After further discussion, the husband put his costume on and went to the party. The wife took some aspirin and went to bed. After sleeping for a while, she woke feeling much better and decided to go to the party and surprise her husband. As she was getting ready, she thought to herself, 'I wonder what my husband really does when I'm not around. ' She then got into a different costume, so her husband wouldn't recognize her, and went to the party. Getting there, she stood off to the side and watched. There was her husband dancing with one girl after another and getting very physical with them. She decided to see just how far he would go. She went up to him and started dancing with him, got very close and whispered that they should go outside. Going to one of the cars, they made love. Prior to the midnight unmasking, she left and went home to wait for her husband to return so she could confront him. He arrived home about 1:00 a. m. and climbed into bed. She sat up and asked 'Well, how was the party?' He replied, 'It was no fun without you honey. ' She said, 'I don't believe you. I bet you had lots of fun!' He replied, 'Really, Honey. When I got to the party, some of the guys and I got bored and we went downstairs and played poker all night. But you know, that guy I loaned my costume to had one hell of a great time. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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