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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun family days out and other funny jokes |
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Clinton Joke
Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, 'Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?'
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Totally Strange Humor
What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?Monica swallowed him!
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Banana Joke
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
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Legal Humor
Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gatesof Heaven, and the angel standing there said, 'We've been waiting along time for you. ''What do you mean, ' he replied, 'I'm only '45
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Travel Humor
The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super. ' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground. ' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one. ' To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, Bitch. '
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College Humor
A young doctor just out of medical school announced to his wife that he planned to specialize in gynecology. When she asked him why he chose gynecology, he said simply, 'There's lots of openings!'
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Funniest Joke
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, 'Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!'The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. . . theBrunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. 'C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead. 'Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!' says the Redhead. 'No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!''OK' says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell 'Jump! You have to jump!''No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!' yelled the Blonde. 'No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!''Look, ' the Blonde says, 'nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . . '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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