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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun fair rides for sale and other funny jokes |
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College Humor
A woman getting married for the fourth time visited a tailor to get a wedding dress made. When the tailor inquired about the color, the bride-to-be said 'White'. The tailor was a bit suprised by this, and said, 'Excuse me, I don't mean to pry, but since white is the color traditionally worn by a virgin on her wedding night, I can't help wondering if you might still be a virgin? How could that be?'The woman replied, 'I'm sorry to say, but that's the way it is. You see, my first husband was a psychologist. He just wanted to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. He just wanted to look. My third husband was a stamp collector. God, I miss him. . . '
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Cow Joke
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!
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Bumper Stickers - 3
EXIT
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you feel attacked by feminism, it's probably a counter attack.
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Worst Joke
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, 'Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?' The mother replies, 'Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand'. 'OK' said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, 'Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?' 'They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert', 'Thanks Mom' replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, 'Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??' The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, 'They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods. ' 'That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water. But Mom', 'Yes son?' 'Why the heck are we in the San Diego Zoo?'
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Cannibal Joke
Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes.
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Military Joke
A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was what the lower enlisted were for. One morning, the Master Sergeant in charge of the S-2 shop of the battalion had an intel report that was due at Division Headquarters within the hour, and his clerk, a PFC, was off that morning because of duty the night before. The Sergeant felt that he had no choice, the report HAD to get to Division; so he got into his Jeep and started to Division Headquarters. As he got to the gate, the XO stopped him. In a very sarcastic voice he said, 'Aren't we paying our drivers a lot these days?' The NCO, without missing a beat re plied, 'Not at all, Sir, when you consider what we are paying gate guards. '
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Car and train Joke
A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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