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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun fair games and other funny jokes |
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Military Joke
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. 'What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?' 'Throw out an anchor, sir, ' the student replied. 'What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?' 'Throw out another anchor, sir. ' 'And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?' asked the captain. 'Throw out another anchor, sir. ' 'Hold on, ' said the captain. 'Where are you getting all those anchors from?' 'From the same place you're getting your storms, sir. '
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Waiter Joke
Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.
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Dumb Men Joke
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, 'Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year. ' The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guyssaid 'What's that board for?' The trader said, 'Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this. 'They said 'No way! We've sworn off women for life!' The trader said, ' Well. take the boards with you, and if you don't use themI'll refund your money next year. 'Okay, ' they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said 'Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year. ' The trader said, 'Weren't you in here last year with a partner?''Yeah' said the guy. 'Where is he?' asked the trader. 'I shot him' said the guy. 'Why?''I caught him in bed with my board. '
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Dog Joke - 2
Q: What kind of dog does a dracula like? - A: A Bloodhound.
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Family Comedy Joke
100 facecloths 25 darning needles any kind of keychain with something _way_ too big to fit in pocket or purse bag of potting mix box of legal size hanging file folders bucket of sand cat door cellophane tape and staples dairy for 1991 exquisitely wrapped house-brick framed photo of Richard Nixon (signed 'all the best for 73 - Rich') globe hat rack his and hers dishwashing liquid. map of West Brazil mixer (for the non-cooking couple) mobile modern art sculpture (plastic one that resembled pile of poop) nicely wrapped ream of photocopy paper one shoe receipt book salad shooter (this one is a classic :-) silver plated yo-yo (my sister got one of these) spice rack step ladder towel/bathrobe with someone else's name on it. towrope triangular prism paperweight (we got one of these)
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Christmas Joke - 2
What does Father Christmas call his money ? Iced lolly ?
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Mom and Dad Joke
With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic. To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies. I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator. As a reminder, I wrote at the top: 'IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN. 'When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I found the following message:'MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF IT. ''
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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