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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun factory fareham and other funny jokes |
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Science Joke
How do you tell if you are in a gay church? Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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Family Comedy Joke
Divorce is bachelorhood, with strings attached. . . Tis better to have loved and lost. . . . than have to live with the bitch the rest of my life. What do you call a woman without an asshole? Divorced. My ex-wife is like a good laxative. . . she irritates the shit out of you. Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Divorce is having your genitals torn off through your wallet. - Robin WilliamsLove is grand. Divorce is at least 20 grand. When I got divorced, my wife and I split the house. I got the outside and she got the inside. Of all the new weight loss programs and exercise videos available, divorce is still the most effective. Where else can you get rid of 205 pounds in a quick 90 days. Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage. - Ambrose PierceWhen does a woman stop masturbating? After the divorce is finalized. Says Jim after the divorce was finally settled - 'Eh, I didn't care for some of her habits. . . I mean, she was a slob! Every time I went to take a piss, she always had dirty dishes laying there in the sink!Two guys are talking in a bar. The first one says, 'My ex-wives were great housekeepers. The first one kept the house, the second one kept the house. . . . 'What do tornadoes and marriage have in common? At first, there's a lot of blowing and sucking. Then when it's over, your whole house is gone. I blame my divorce on my ex-husband's calculating mind. He put two and two together. How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly? When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore. What is the difference between Saddam Hussein and your ex-wife's lawyer? Compared with the lawyer's demands, Hussein's are reasonable. There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. January '16
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Car and train Joke
Police Officer: Why were you speeding?
Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.
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Humorous Joke
One day, this woman went to a bait shop to get her husband a fishing reel for his birthday. After selecting one, she inquired as to its cost. The owner replied, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm blind and cannot see what reel you have. If you drop it on the floor, I'll recognize it and be of more help. ' So she did just that. After hearing it hit the floor, the owner said, 'That's the Johnson Model9400. It'll be $40. 00. 'The woman decided to take it so she went to pick it up off the floor. Upon bending over, she let rip a stinky, sqeaky fart. The owner rang up the sale and said, 'That'll be fifty dollars. 'Fifty dollars?!?!' the woman exclaimed. 'You just told me that is was forty dollars a moment ago!''Yes, I did', said the owner, 'But that was for the reel. The duck call is another $7. 50 and the stink bait is $2. 50. '
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Father Joke
Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called ?
Pupil: A sultana !
Teacher: Where are elephants found ?
Pupil: I don't know, they are so big I didn't think they could get lost !
Teacher: If you add 34,312 + 76,188, divide the answer
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Worlds Best Joke
What does ADIDAS stand for?All Day I Dream About Sex.
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Children Joke
A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could. 'God, ' he prayed, 'I really want a car. 'Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty. 'God, ' he prayed again, 'I really NEED a car. 'Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his parents' bedroom, and grabbed the statuette of the Virgin Mary off the mantelpiece. He wrapped it up in ten layers of paper, using three rolls of tape and a spool of twine, then stuffed it inside a box at the very bottom of his closet. 'Okay, God, ' he said, getting down onto his knees again, 'if you ever want to see your mother again. . . '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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