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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun english lessons and other funny jokes |
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Waiter Joke
Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup. Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'. . . till you can find a rock.
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Telephone Joke
What do ghosts use to phone home? A terror-phone.
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Banana Joke
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
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Horse Joke
Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path!
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Mad Joke
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. 'You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. 'The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, 'What happened? Was the cord too long?'The first guy says, 'No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?'
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Waiter Joke
Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !
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Love and Marriage Joke
One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up behind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, 'I'm going to kiss you if you can't tell me who I am in three guesses. ' She quickly answered, 'George Washington! Thomas Jefferson! Abraham Lincoln!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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