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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun easter games and other funny jokes |
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Marriage Joke
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. 'America, ' the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. 'She's not from the States. ' 'Yes I am. ' said the wife. He looked at her and asked. 'Is he your husband?' 'Yes. ' she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered. . . . . 'I'll give you 100 camels for her. ' The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, 'she's not for sale. ' After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, 'I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home. '
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Lawyer Joke
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, 'I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!'The other partner replied, 'What are you worried about? We're both here. '
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Joke for Halloween
A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex. When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, 'Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off!'
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, 'You are really a country hick, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the t rain went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!' The old rancher replied, 'Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning. '
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Worlds Best Joke
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. 'The husband, rejected but still quite horny, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?. '
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Golf Joke
Cow Tail
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the clubhouse. They followed the plan and waited for their friend.
After a considerable time he appeared disheveled, bloody, and badly beaten up. They all wanted to know what happened.
He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could not find his ball. He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious pain. He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball solidly embedded. It was a yellow ball so he knew it was not his.
A woman comes out of the bushes apparently searching for her lost golf ball. The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, 'Does this look like yours?'
That was the last thing he could remember.
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Worlds Best Joke
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.
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Situations Humor
A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier afterhaving eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills mostexclusive restaurants. 'Show the lady your finest mink!' the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with anabsolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, thefurrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, 'Ah, sir, thatparticular fur goes for $'65
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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