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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun days out for adults and other funny jokes |
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Letter Joke
What did the envelope say to the stamp? 'Stick with me and we'll go places. '
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Bar Joke - 2
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?A: Pregnant
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Bumper Stickers - 2
A crowded elevator smells different to a midget
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Rabbit Joke
Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!
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Computer Joke
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider? A: 'Life is like a box of chocolates. . . ' (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
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Government Humor
What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?The white house's pool table
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Biologist Joke
While driving down a steep and curvy logging road, a group of biologists loose control of their 4-wd 'Jimmy' and careen down the hill. The truck piles up at the bottom of the canyon, and everyone aboard perishes. Suprisingly, they all go to heaven. At an orientation they are asked, 'When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning about your death, what would you like to hear them say about you?' The first guy, a well known botanist says, 'I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest botanists of my time, and left an eternal contribution to the botanical world. ' The second guy, an ornithologist, says, 'I would like to hear that I was a wonderful birder and made a huge difference in the recovery of our bird populations. ' The last guy, a scruffy mammalogist, replies, 'I would like to hear them say. . . 'LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!' '
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Miscellaneous Joke
This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:'You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes. ' What is your first wish?, The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, say: 'well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?'The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says 'he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse'. So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An hour later he comes out and says, 'Chief, can i talk to my horse again'? The chief says sure, but that be wish number two. Ok says the cowboy. The cowboys goes to the horse and once again wispers into it's ear, and with a gallop the horse is off!. . . 15 minutes later, the horse returns, this time having a Brunnette aboard. Once again the cowboy is shown the secluded teepee. An hour later the cowboy comes out, obivously tired now, with only a few hours left before sundown. He looks to the chief, and before he says a word, the chief grins and says 'Sure crazy white man you can talk to your horse. . 'So the cowboy goes to the horse and GRABS him by the ear and yells'LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, . . . I SAID - GO GET A POSSE!!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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