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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun days and other funny jokes |
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Doctor and nurse Joke
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin. Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!
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Dieting Joke
SKINNY PEOPLE ANNOY ME!!! Especially when they say things like, 'You know sometimes I forget to eat. ' Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
Complaining about dieting and excercise burns off 200 calories per hour.
Handy dandy dieting tip: CARROT CAKE COUNTS AS A SERVING OF VEGETABLES.
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Drunks Joke
A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:'Ok. I'll let him pass, there's no hurry. Two minutes lateranother whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, buttwo minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stopedhim:'What's going on out there?' it asked. 'Why, there's aparty going on!! It's great! They're having the most fun!!'the whiskey replied. And pizza said: 'Great, I'll go check it out!'
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School Joke
Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name? Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Everything i need to know i learned in prison
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Frog Joke
Why did the lizard go on a diet ? It weighed too much for its scales !
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Aviation Joke
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, 'Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane. ' And every year Edna would say, 'I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars. ' One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, 'Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. ' Edna replied, 'Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars. ' The pilot overheard them and said, 'Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars. ' Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Fred, 'By golly, I did everything could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't. ' Fred replied, 'Well, I was gonna say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. 'Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?' inquired the officer. 'Mister, ' exclaimed the telephone lineman, 'I was at the top of the pole!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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