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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun costumes and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
I think it was in Britain where a billboard advertising a car read:'If this car was a woman, she'd get pinched in the butt. 'Underneath which a graffiti read:'If this woman was a car, she'd run you over. '
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Internet Joke
How do you fix a broken website? With stick e-tape.
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Letter Joke
What two words have thousands of letters in them? Post office.
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Golf Joke
Two Men were leaving church on a bright Sunday morning. 'You know, ' said the first friend, 'I can always tell who the golfers are in church. ''How's that?' asked his friend. 'It's easy, ' he said. 'Just look at who is praying with an interlocking grip. '
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number. They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people. Now then. . . Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people?I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who 'owned' the card.
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Ouch Joke
Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269Dear John Doe, We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS. Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose baggy and wrinkled condom is NOT considered romantic. We did admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using Polygrip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that yours is the first we've seen that looked like a bicycle grip. We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration, if by chance we decide that there is a market for micro-mini condoms. We send greetings and our deepest sympathy. Yours very truly, Burley Dick, PresidentTROJAN CONDOM COMPANY, INC. VD/abcP. S. Remember our slogans:Cover your stump before you hump. Don't be silly, protect your Willie. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it!
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Law Enforcement Joke
On a narrow mountain's road a man saw a police car driving uphill backwards. - Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards? - Because we are not sure that we will find the place to make u-turn on the top of the mountain. After one hour the same man saw the same police car driving downhill backwards again. - But guys, why are you driving backwards again? - We have found the place to make u-turn up there.
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Kids Puns
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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