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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun contact lenses and other funny jokes |
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Sporting Joke
I would have played football, but I have an intestinal problem - no guts.
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Zoo Joke
Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task. 'Go and clean out the aquarium' he was told. Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. 'Throw them to the lions' said the head keeper, 'the lions will eat anything'. So the young keeper returned to the aquarium, picked up all the dead fish and threw them into the lion's cage. That done, he returned and asked what he should do now. He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house. Off he went and started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead chimpanzees in the cage, and rushed back for instructions. 'Dont worry' said the head keeper, 'just throw them to the lions, the lions will eat anything'. So the young man returns to the ape house and throws the dead animals into the lions cage. Returning again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean up the insect house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he notices that all the bees have died. 'I know what to do', he thinks to himself 'I'll throw them all to the lions, as the lions will eat anything', whereupon he brushes them all up and throws them into the lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains a new lioness. The lioness is walking around the new cage for the first time, and starts asking the other lions what things are like here. 'Hows the accommodation?', she asks. 'Fine' comes the reply from one lion. 'And whats the food like?' she asks. 'Not bad' replies another, 'yesterday, we had fish, chimps and mushy bees'.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual '3 to '1
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Caitlin ! Caitlin who ? Caitlin you my trainers tonight, I'm wearing them !
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Dirty Joke
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. 'Look, ' the pharmacist says, 'if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet. '
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Answer me this Joke
If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
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Funny College Joke
TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A BAD CHURCH10. The church bus has gun racks. 9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor. 8. The Bible they use is the 'Dr. Seuss Version. '7. There's an ATM in the lobby. 6. Choir wears leather robes. 5. Worship services are B. Y. O. S. -- 'Bring Your Own Snake. '4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum. 3. Karaoke Worship Time. 2. Ushers ask, 'Smoking or Non-smoking?'1. The only song the organist knows is 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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