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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun contact lens and other funny jokes |
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Insect Joke
What did one flea say to the other after a night out ? Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
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Ethnic Joke - 2
Why is Russia a very fast country ? Because the people are always Russian !
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Fun Funny Joke
She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo. She considers chocolate a major FDA food group. She puts on one of those pads with 'wings, ' then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom. She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles. She retains more water than Lake Superior. She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and 'chambers one. 'She buys you a new T-shirt-----with a bulls-eye on the front. You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, 'All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?'She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm. She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.
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Stupid Men
Why is it important for a woman to look her best?
Because plenty of men are stupid, but few of them are blind.
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Just for Laughs Joke
A Soviet emigre boy and girl come to a doctor's office and say: 'Doctor, we would like to know if we are screwing properly. Will you watch us, please?'The doctor, somewhat puzzled, agrees, they climb on his table, the boy gets on top of the girl, and they have sex. After observing them, the doctor says, 'Yes, you're having sex properly. That will be forty dollars. 'They come back the next day with the same request, but this time the boy enters the girl from the rear. They keep coming for four days in a row, using different positions every day. On the fifth visit the doctor says, 'Why do you keep on coming back?I told you you're having sex properly. 'The boy explains, 'The hotel room costs the same forty dollars, but this way we get reimbursed by Medicaid. '
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Brother and sister Joke
A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother, 'I hate my sister's guts. ' 'All right, ' said his mother, 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again. '
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Bible Joke
A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also. 'Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings, ' said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, 'Just a minute! That other guy was a lawyer and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I g et?' St. Peter looked at the Pope and said 'True, you have done great things. But we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first lawyer ever to make it up here. '
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Music Joke
One day the bass player hid one of the drummer's sticks. The drummer said, 'finally! After being a drummer for so long, now I am a conductor!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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