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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun color contact lenses and other funny jokes |
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Christmas Joke - 1
I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!
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Computer Joke
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?
'I know,' said the Branch Manager, 'Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way. ' 'No, no,' said the Hardware Engineer, 'That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way. ' 'Well,' said the Software Engineer, 'Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again. '
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Irish Joke
Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed, and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him, and turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun. 'Don't jump, ' she said, and I'll grant you three wishes. ' 'Right, ' he said. 'my first wish is to have $'100
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Computing Joke
Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?'I know, ' said the Branch Manager, 'Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way. ''No, no, ' said the Hardware Engineer, 'That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way. ''Well, ' said the Software Engineer, 'Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again. '
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Ethnic Humor
An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said, 'When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord. ' When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was, 'What was the name of that Indian again?'
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Bumper Stickers - 2
7 days with out Jesus makes one weak
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Marriage Joke
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.
With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his manhood in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Next she picked up a hacksaw.
The husband terrified, screamed,
'Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?'
The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said,
'Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire. '
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Weather Joke
What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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