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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun christmas quizzes and other funny jokes |
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Priceless Joke
A swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life ingeneral. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life. . . . . . until one day, in the breakfast table, he was reading the morning paper, when he saw an article, which would change his life. It said: '. . . Scientist's had found out, that somewhere in Africa, one could stillfind tribes of genuine cavemen, untouched by civilization. Only thingneeded was to find the correct cave and shout 'Wohoo!!' and the tribe wouldanswer to this call. ''This is it!' the swede thought. 'This is what I've been waiting for! I'llsell everything I own, go to Africa, find these cavemen, and become richand famous!'And so he did. He sells everything, moves to Africa and starts looking forthe tribe. But cave after cave after cave, no answer. No cavemen. Until one day, yet another cave, and another yell: 'Juhuuu!!' And then heheard it! ' WWOOOOUU WOOOOOO !!!! ' 'H?rregud!' The Swede thought, 'A whole tribe!' And just as he was startingto run to the cave, he thought: 'Now wait a minute. These are cavemen. Theydon't wear any clothes, and I might scare then off. ' So he stripped his clothes off quickly, and started to run into the cave. And the following day, he was in the headlines all over th world: 'Naked Swede ran over by a train in Africa'
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Situations Humor
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to theblind man and hands him a menu. 'I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read themenu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previouscustomer, I'll smell it and order from there. ' A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirtydish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns tothe blind man's table and hands it to him. The blindman puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deepbreath. 'Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf andmashed potatoes. ' Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walkstowards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner'swife and he tells her what had just happened. The blindman eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the ownermistakingly brings him a menu again. 'Sir, remember me?I'm the blind man. ''I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you adirty fork. ' The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it tothe blind man. After another deep breath, the blind mansays, 'That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni andchesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with himand tells his wife that the next time the blind man comesin he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see'shim coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, 'Maryrub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man. ' Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blindman walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. 'Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already havethe fork ready for you. ' The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff andsays, 'Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?'
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Humorous Joke
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh water or sea water? The cruise director answered, 'Sea water. ' 'Oh, that explains why it's so rough today. '
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Money Joke
Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.
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Relationships Joke
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
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Insect Joke
Q: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? A: 'Dead ant, Dead Ant . . . Dead ant, Dead Ant . . Dead Ant' (to the tune of Pink Panther theme).
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Dumb Joke
Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example. . . The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means 'bite the wax tadpole' or 'female horse stuffed with wax' depending on the dialect. Coke then researched '40
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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