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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun chairs and other funny jokes |
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Redneck Joke
You've ever used lard in bed.
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Ethnic Joke - 1
How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
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Father Joke
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC, recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipst
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Boston Globe, April '13
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Politics Humor
BUY YUGO WAR BONDSFor $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developingcountry just out of the clutches of communism. What your $$$ buyz: Russian ammo for one freedom fighter forone month for the ethnic clensing!Their motto: I wanns be like Ike! A little behind the times, BUT!They model themselves after the US of A. They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves ofundesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants)Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!
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Miscellaneous Joke
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'take another drink!' The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'take another drink!' The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left. . . . then to the right. . . . right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs into him and kills him. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender cleans his glasses and whistles an old Irish tune. The father looks at the bartender in disbelief and asks, 'How can you be so cold and callous?' The bartender says, 'That boy should have quit while he was a head. '
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Joke for Speeches
Leroy is given a homework assignment. Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here's what he handed in:HONOR ROLL - We was playin poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL. PLANET - I got me some seed to grow weed, so I PLANET in the backyard. DISMAY - I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a big needle. He said, 'DISMAY hurt a little. 'OMELETTE - Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE go after a week. STAIRWAY - When me and my homies get high, we STAIRWAY into space. MOBILE - I went to buy crack, I was short on cash, my man said, 'Gimme one MOBILE. 'DEFENSE - I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE and got away. AFRO - I got so mad at my girly, AFRO a lamp at her. AFTERMATH - I like to be high in school, so AFTERMATH I go to the field and smoke weed. LOCKET - I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET. DOMINEERING - My girly's birthday was yesterday, I got her a DOMINEERING. KENYA - I needed change fo the subway, so I axe a stranger KENYA spare some change. DERANGE - DERANGE is where da deer and antelope play. DATA - At my basketball game, I scored thirty points. My coach said, 'DATA boy!'COPULATE - I called 911 and an hour later when they show up, I said, 'COPULATE!'FASCINATE - My girly's boobs are so big. Her shirt has ten buttons, she can only FASCINATE!BEWARE - I asked the man at the unemployment office, 'Is this BEWARE I get a job?'COATROOM - The judge said, 'One more outburst like that, and you'll be thrown out the COATROOM. 'DECIDE - I like Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to have a couple of babes on DECIDE.
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Miscellaneous Joke
Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, 'My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible!'The second guy says, 'That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God!''She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?''Easy. . . Every night she places a burnt offering before me!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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