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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun casino surrey and other funny jokes |
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Short Stupid Joke
Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game. 'Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?' asked the first man. The other man shook his head. 'I'm going to go ask them if we can play through, ' said the first man, emphatically, 'Enough is enough. 'He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. 'Oh God, ' he said to his friend, 'This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress. 'The other man shrugged, and said 'No sweat. ' He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said, 'Small world!'
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Dirty Joke
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a man who has a burlap sack and a little guy about a foot tall sitting on the bar playing a little piano. The guy that walked into the bar asks the man, 'What's in the bag?' The man pulls out a genie lamp. The guy says, Wow! Can I have one of your wishes?' The man says, 'I don't know. Rub the lamp and see. ' So the guy rubs the lamp and out pops the genie. The genie says, 'You may have one wish. 'The guy wishes for a million bucks. The genie says, 'Your wish is granted, ' and goes back into the genie bottle. Just then one million ducks walk into the bar. The guy says, 'I didn't wish for a million ducks. ' The man replies, 'Yeah, and I wished for a twelve inch pianist. '
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Mad Joke
In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating - 'Play like champions today!'There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says:'Don't forget your HELMET!'
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Funny Kids Joke
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go on in pairs!
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Funny Kids Joke
Q: Why do bees buzz?A: Because they can't whistle!Q: Can bees fly in the rain?A: Not without their little yellow jackets!Q: Why did the bee started talking poetry?A: He was waxing lyrical!Q: What goes zzub, zzub?A: A bee flying backwards!Q: What are the cleverest bees?A: Spelling bees!Q: What bee is good for your health?A: Vitamin bee!Q: What's a bees favorite novel?A: The Great Gats-bee!Q: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?A: A hum dinger!Q: How many bees do you need in a bee choir?A: A humdred!
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Children Joke
Father: What did you learn in school today ? Son: That three and three are seven. Father: Three and three are six ! Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then !
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Naughty Joke
So the elephant says to the naked man . . . 'You breathe through that little thing?'
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Joke for Halloween
Two condoms were walking past a Gay bar. One looks at the other and says. . . 'You wanna go in and get shit faced?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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