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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun casino london and other funny jokes |
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Elderly People Joke
An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, 'Going to a party?''Yeah, ' the man answered, 'I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life. ' 'But you look like Abe Lincoln, ' protested the barkeep. 'That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago. '
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Law Enforcement Joke
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day, ' the cop said. The guy replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could. ' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.
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Monster Joke
What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade.
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Gender Joke
What do men and beer bottles have in common?They are both empty from the neck up!
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Kids Puns
The young newly married Catholic couple were regular attendants at Mass. As like all newly married couples, they were in a constant state of arousal. Well they didn't want to do anything wrong so they approached their Parish Priest for advice. Father, the young couple asked . . . 'is it ok to have sex before Mass ?'The not so young Priest responded after a few moments of reflection . . . 'yes my children it's ok to have sex before Mass . . but please don't block the aisles. . . '
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Music Joke
Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.
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Weird Women Joke
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in alight bulb?A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change alight bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYSbefore they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out theywouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact thatthey've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the pastSEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair thatthey dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change theSTUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! ANDUNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPERTHE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?!BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUTTHE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALLSUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THEHOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS. . . I'm sorry. . . what did you ask me?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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