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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun casino hire sussex and other funny jokes |
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Burger Joke
What happens when two burgers fall in love? They live together in holy meatrimony!
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Computing Joke
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! If the above doesn't help with your computer troubles, perhaps this will. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall. And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
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Great Joke
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators.
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Birthday Joke
What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
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Christmas Joke - 1
A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'
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Dumb Joke
Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) 'Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled. . . isn't she adorable?' Friend: 'But your kid didn't smile. ' Father: 'I was talking about the nurse. '
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
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Frog Joke
Whats a frogs favourite game ? It's croak-et !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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