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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun car hire and other funny jokes |
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Strange Humor
So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says 'Well, I guess that answers THAT question!!!'
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Frog Joke
A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said 'BUK BUK BUK' Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left. An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said 'BUK BUK BUK' Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water. All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it's head up saying 'RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!'
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Love and Marriage Joke
Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs.
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Love and Marriage Joke
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, 'Where's Mom and dad?' and she replied, 'they're up in bed. '
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma
'where's Mom and Dad?'
and she replied 'they're still up in bed. '
Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went
out to play.
Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked
his grandma
'where's Mom and dad'
and his grandmother replied
'they're still up in bed. '
The little boy started to laugh
and his grandmother asked,
'what gives?
Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?'
The little boy replied, 'well last night daddy came into my
bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue. '
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Banana Joke
What's yellow and flashes? A banana with a loose connection.
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bubbles ! Bubbles who ? Bubbles, bangles, and beads. . . !
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Random Joke
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. 'We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Jones, but we have some information about your wife. ''Well, tell me!' the man said. The policeman said, 'We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?'Fearing the worse, Mr. Jones said, 'Give me the bad news first. 'So the policeman said, 'I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay. ''Oh my god!' said Mr. Jones, overcome by emotion. Remembering what the cop had said, he asked, 'So what's the good news?''Well, ' said the cop, 'when we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her. ''If that's the good news, then what's the great news!?!' he asked. And the cop replied. . . 'We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning!'
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Horse Joke
One day, while I was petting a Shetland Pony at the zoo, a friend of mine asked, 'How are you today?. ' I responded, 'I'm feelin a little hoarse. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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