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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun car accessories and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme? Hump me dump me
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Legal Humor
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. 'I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?''It's $'50
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Free Adult Joke
Calls people to ask them their phone number. Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff. Can discern facts and form predictions with the acumen of an economist. Can easily be confused with facts. Can only remember her old passwords. Can only shoot pool with a left-handed cue stick. Can't distinguish jacking off and stropping a razor. Can't find log base two of 65536 without a calculator. Can't program his way out of a for-loop. Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat. Carrier wave unmodulated. Carries a tire gauge in her purse. Cart can't hold all the groceries. Cauliflower for brains. Changes hands and picks up a stroke. Charming as a carbuncle. Cheats when filling out opinion polls. Cheezwiz for brains. Chimney's clogged. Clock doesn't have all its numbers. Collects cards for Craig. Communications with him is limited to ping. Confused as a baby in a topless bar. Consumes hard drugs as vitamins. Contributes to collections like this one without searching first to see if their little gem is already listed. Contributes to the population problem. Could be considered a plant if he developed photrophic motility. Could only be loved/missed if the minister read someone else's eulogy. Couldn't balance a checkbook if Einstein helped. Couldn't count to 21 if he were barefoot and without pants.
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Dirty Joke
Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking. After a while the boy stops. 'You know we've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it's time we went all the way, ' he pleads. 'Well, maybe, ' she says, 'But I'm a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us. ' The boy stops and says, 'Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we're really doing. ' The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business. Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing. 'Moooo . . . . . Moooooo . . . . . . Moooooooon River . . . . . . . !'
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Clinton Joke
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.
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Mad Joke
After each question, your say: 'Rubber Jugs and Liquor'. Q: What did you have for breakfast? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!Q: What did you have for supper? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Q: What would you do if you saw a hot chick walking down the street?hee-hee hoo-hoo haa-haa!
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Great Joke
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
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Apple Joke
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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