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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun campsites and other funny jokes |
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Travel Joke
A Lady was on a business trip. Since she was so tense from all the meetings, she decided she would go to the roof of the hotel she was staying in and sunbathe to help her relax. She went to the top of the hotel, stripped down, and layed face down on the roof. After about an hour of sunbathing, she heard someone come on the roof. It was the manager of the hotel. He said, ' Excuse me, miss, but do you mind sunbathing somewhere else? ' 'Why?', asked the lady. ' I'm on top of the hotel. . . nobody can see me!' ' True', the man replied, ' But you are lying on the sunroof above the dining room. '
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What is the difference between a jew and a canoe?A canoe tips. . . . . Sent by deadcatz
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Computer Joke
Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed specifically for Windows. In addition to the keys found on the standard keyboard, Microsoft's new design adds several new keys which will make your Windows computing even more fun! The final specs are not yet set, so please feel free to make suggestions. The keys proposed so far are: 1) GPF key--This key will instantly generate a General Protection Fault when pressed. Microsoft representatives state that the purpose of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need to run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault. 2) $$ key--When this key is pressed, money is transferred automatically from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for further action or third party intervention. 3) ZD key--This key was developed specifically for reviewers of Microsoft products. When pressed it inserts random superlative adjectives in any text which contains the words Microsoft or Windows within the file being edited. 4) MS key--This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled 'Computing for Mindless Drones' in a 1' x 1' window. 5) FUD key--Self explanatory. 6) Chicago key--Generates do nothing loops for months at a time. 7) IBM key--Searches your hard disk for operating systems or applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.
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Mad Joke
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, 'Well, this Ph. D. brain costs $'10
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Doctor Joke
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
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Top 100 Joke
Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies -------------------------------------1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again?4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. 8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. 11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!12. You daring lousy guy. 13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately. 15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. 17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. 20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination. 21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
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Dinosaur Joke
Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together? A: Dino-mite.
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Bird Joke
What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ? 'Dad, dad, look what marma-laid' !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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