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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun blox and other funny jokes |
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Romance Joke
So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite, he was really having a difficult time. The kite wasswinging wildly, not exactly what you'd describe asstable, so his wife sticks her head out the door andsays, 'Gee Ralph, it looks like you need more tail. ' Ralph replies 'Make up your goddamn mind, last nightyou told me to go fly a kite!'
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Bizarre Joke
You're so stupid, you got locked in a grocery store and starved!!
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? Hey! There's some things even a blonde won't do.
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Animal World
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. 'Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?' the service guy asks. 'Boy, ' is the man's response. 'Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there, ' says the service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some nstructions: 'Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him. ' The man asks, 'What do I do with the shotgun?' The service guy replies, 'If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua. '
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Funny Kids Joke
Q: What is a dog's favorite sport?A: Formula 1 drooling!Q: What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk?A: A Great Dane out!Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?A: Anywhere it wants to!Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?A: 'I must throw that doggie out the window!'Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?A: A bloodhound!Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?A: Because his boots were at the menders!Q: What is a dog's favorite food?A: Anything that is on your plate!Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?A: A hot dog!Q: What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?A sausage dog!Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?A: Use a pencil instead!
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Mental health Joke
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
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Horse Joke
A horse was looking over a fence watching a game of cricket. 'Any chance of a game?' he asked the captain. At first the captain was taken aback by the talking horse, but when it insisted it was keen to play the skipper thought it might be a bit of a laugh if he sent the horse out as opening bat. The horse shaped up to the first ball and slammed it over the boundary for six. He did the same with the second and third, indeed every ball he hit for six until the over ended. He had been partnered by the captain, and when the bowler ran in from the other end and the captain managed his first hit for a meagre single he called for the horse to run. But the horse just stood there. Frantic calls by the captain to run were ignored and in the confusion the skipper was stumped out. 'Why didn't you run?' roared the captain. 'Listen mate,' said the horse, 'if I could run I would be at the racetrack today, not messing around with this cricket game.
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School Joke
Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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