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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun assemblies and other funny jokes |
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Practical Joke
Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas tree:10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide9. Salesman's opening line: 'You're not a cop, are you?'8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride6. Each branch has 'Duraflame' printed on it5. Keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list4. It's very small and says 'Air Freshener' on it3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it 1. Constantly bragging about its 'trunk size'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Welcome to reality. . . come again soon.
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Irish Joke
For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. 'Hooray!' shouted the guide. 'Here comes man's best friend!' 'Yeah, ' said Mulvaney. 'An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!'
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Pig Joke
What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.
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Religion Joke
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. 'Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???'Goldblum shuddered. God went on. 'I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!' Goldblum sighed with relief. 'Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?' Bauman hung his head in shame. 'Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions. 'Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, 'You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying. . . . 'Closed for the Holiday !!!'
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Naughty Joke
Q: How do you know when you've satisfied a redhead?A: She unties you.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
A drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, 'Gimme a beer. ' The bartender then asks, 'Anheuser-Busch?' To which she replies, 'Fine thanks, and how's your cock?'
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Witch Joke
Witch: Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister ? Wizard: Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards ? Witch: No I wouldn't. Wizard: No, well nor will she.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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