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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun aprons and other funny jokes |
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray 'God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto'. Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Jacob goes back to the synagogue. 'God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well'. Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!! Back to the synagogue. 'My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???'. Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: 'JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A DAMN TICKET'
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Funny Famous Joke
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said '2 to 4 years' Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button. When asked what the capital of California was answered 'C'. Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125. After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
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Christmas Joke - 1
Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.
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Frog Joke
What jumps up and down in front of a car ? Froglights !
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock knock
Who's there?
Anudder.
Anudder who?
Anudder mosquito.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
An Indian, a Rabbi, the Pope, an Italian, and an Irishman all walk into a bar together and sit down. The bartender looks at all 5 of them and says, 'What is this. . . some kind of joke?'
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Humor Joke
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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