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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun anniversary present and other funny jokes |
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Real Life Joke
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Monday, December '7
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Bumper Stickers - 7
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
What does a blond and a turtle have in common?When they lay on their backs they're screwed!
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Miscellaneous Joke
a dyslexic man walks into a bra. . . Sent by Robert
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Dirty Joke
Q: What's the ultimate embarrassment for a blonde? A: When her ben-wa balls set off the airport metal detector.
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Math Joke
A mathematical biologist spends his vacation hiking in the Scottish highlands. One day, he encounters a shepherd with a large herd of sheep. One of these cuddly, woolly animals would make a great pet, he thinks. . .
'How much for one of your sheep?' he asks the shepherd.
'They aren't for sale', the shepherd replies.
The math biologist ponders for a moment and then says: 'I will give you the precise number of sheep in your herd without counting. If I'm right, don't you think that I deserve one of them as a reward?'
The shepherd nods.
The math biologist says: '387'.
The shepherd is silent for a while and then says: 'You're right. I hate to loose any of my sheep, but I promised: One of them is yours. Have your pick!'
The math biologist grabs one of the animals, puts it on his shoulders, and is about to march on, when the shepherd says: 'Wait! I will tell you what your profession is, and if I'm right I'll get the animal back. '
'That's fair enough. '
'You must be a mathematical biologist. '
The man is stunned. 'You're right. But how could you know?'
'That's easy: You gave me the precise number of sheep without counting - and then you picked my dog. . . '
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Situations Humor
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911operator told Bubba that she would send someone outright away. 'Where do you live?' asked the operator. Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus Drive. 'The operator asked, 'Can you spell that for me?'There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, 'How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and youpick her up there?'
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Naughty Joke
Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?' 'That's correct', responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class. . . . and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic. . . . Totally straight-faced he answered her question, 'It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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