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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of fun and sun club marmaris and other funny jokes |
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Totally Weird Joke
'We have a terrible time making ends meet on Bob's income. ' his wife told her best friend. 'How do you two manage? And you even have kids!''We get along okay, ' her friend said. 'You see, we work on our budget every evening. That saves us lots of money. ''Really? How can that be?''Well, by the time we get it all balanced, it's too damn late to go anywhere and do anything!'
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Old age Joke
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, 'You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing. ' The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up jo b on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. 'This recession's really putting a big dent in my income, ' he told them. 'From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans. ' The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. 'Look, ' he said, 'I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?' 'A lousy quarter?' the drum leader exclaimed. 'If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!' And the old man enjoyed peace.
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Dumb Joke
Humankind's propensity for imposing anthropomorphic characteristics on inanimate objects has now reached computers. But, which gender should your PC be?Here are the top ten reasons why they have to be male. They have a lot of data, but they're still clueless. A better model is just around the corner. They look nice and shiny until you get them home. It's always essential to have a backup. They'll do whatever you want if you push the right buttons. The best part of having one is the games you can play. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. The lights are on but nobody's home. Big power surges knock them out at night. Size does matter. But then again, here are the top ten reasons why they are obviously female. They're oh so picky, picky, picky. They hear what you say, but not what you mean. Beauty is only shell deep. When you ask them what's wrong, they always say 'nothing'. They can produce incorrect results with alarming speed. They are always turning simple statements into big productions. Small talk is important. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong. They make you take the garbage out. Miss a period and they go wild.
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Cow Joke
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand!
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Dog Joke - 2
Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or a tiger?
I'd rather have him chase the tiger.
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Blind Joke
There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours. Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all lost their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the right to play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a lot, but being blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball, let alone finding it after it's hit. The priest said, 'Oh my this is terrible. Tonight I'll say a little prayer for these courageous souls. ' The doctor heard that and said 'Don't worry. I'll send them to a friend of mine, he's an ophtalmologist and he works wonders. ' The engineer said 'Wait. Why can't they just play at ni ght?'
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Jesus Saves… He Passes It To Gretzky… He Shoots… He Scores!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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